BEAR SCARES BARE OR BARE SCARES BEAR!!

I must admit this is a novel way to scare bears (bares). Bear with me, every word is true; then you can decide if you wish to also bare with me.

One of the privileges of vacationing at a remote outpost is the ability to wear as much or as little clothing as your companions will tolerate. Without naming names, gender or location one of our guests took advantage of the opportunity to take a bare walk from the cabin to the sauna. This bare guest stepped on to the deck and when the door slammed shut encountered an uncommon visitor in the guise of a very curious and bare black bear. Without taking time for introductions, the bare guest left the vicinity of the bear guest and tried valiantly to create another entrance to the cabin through the wall. The bare’s cohorts, who were also preparing for the sauna, could barely keep straight faces as bare 1 babbled about bear 2. Meanwhile and barely containing his laughter, the bare black bear left the scene, presumably to tell his fellow bears about his bare encounter.

Eventually, with a few “high fives” and likely a little liquid fortification the human bares gathered enough courage to venture uneventfully and bare past the bear spot to the sauna.

The moral of this story is, when exercising the privilege of remoteness regarding attire, feel free, but remember your friends, bare or not, may barely remember their experience of your fishing prowess but will forever have vivid visualizations of the seldom seen bare-bear-bare dance.

Barely able to control his laughter.

I’m sorry I have not posted a picture of the other bare but then again, maybe I’d have to apologize to you if I did.

Ignace Outposts Computing

LOG ON: Making the woodstove hotter
LOG OFF: Don't add more wood
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on your rod tip
DOWNLOAD: Getting the fishing gear off the Otter
MEGA HERTZ: When you’re not careful getting into the boat
FLOPPY DISK: What you get from lifting a cooler full of beer
RAM: coming into the dock too fast
FLASH DRIVE: The ride to Ignace while anticipating your fly in trip
HARD DRIVE: Getting home after a great fishing trip
PROMPT: What makes you think about fishing in Ignace – like Brad’s blog
WINDOWS: What to shut when it’s raining
SCREEN: What to shut when it’s mosquito season
BYTE: What them dang black flies do
MEGA BYTE: What the walleyes do
CHIP: Munchies for the cabin
MICRO CHIP: What’s left in the munchie bag
INFRARED: Where the Micro chips go; Fred eats them
MODEM: What you must do to your lawns before you come to Ignace
LAP TOP: Great place to get fish slim off your hands
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the keys
SOFTWARE: Those darn plastic forks and knives
MOUSE: What tries to join you in the cabin
MAIN FRAME: Holds up the cabin roof
PORT: Fancy Wine
ENTER: Northern slang for “c'mon in y'all”
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: Why you can’t member what you paid for your new fishing rod when your wife asks
INTERNET: Where you want that big northern after a 20 minute fight
BACKSPACE: The upright part of the boat seat.
CABLE: The type of fishing line a rookie brings on a fly in trip
WIRELESS: The style of spectacles most men over 40 need to tie their lure to their line
BLACKBERRY: Cousin of the raspberry. Not related to the blueberry but still very tasty.
WEB: The result of not paying attention when trolling crosses one or more angler’s line.

the Fishing Trip

Joe and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day fishing trip at Ignace Outposts. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because
his wife wouldn't let him.

After a lot of teasing and name calling, Joe headed home
totally frustrated. When  the big day came to head north to Ignace they were shocked to see Joe sitting in the driveway,
drinking a beer, holding his fishing rod, tackle box and sleeping bag!
"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Joe?"

"I didn't have to," Joe replied. "Last I night I slumped down
in my chair with a beer to think about you guys heading to Ignace Outposts and to drown my sorrows.

Then, my wife snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee
and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and throw me to the bed, and you can
do whatever you want'......SO HERE I AM !"

What's them tracks?

While out in the bush of Northwestern Ontario we sometimes see tracks on the ground. Identifying the tracks is a popular pastime for those of us who live here.

One day Randy, John and Joe were walking through the bush. I'm not sure what they were looking for but they saw a set of tracks on the ground.

John immediately said, "Those are deer tracks",

to which Joe replied, "No those are bear tracks",

and Randy, who see lots of tracks close to his house said, "You are both wrong, those are moose tracks"




They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Top 10 Reasons why FISHING is the Best past time

Top 10 Reasons why FISHING is the Best past time.

10 - You can watch shows about Fishing in the living room.
9 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines.
8 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against Fishing.
7 - If your partner takes pictures of you Fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.
6 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you Fished with long ago.
5 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.
4 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you at Ignace Outposts without getting sued for harassment.
3 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.
2 - You can plan a vacation at Ignace Outposts to enjoy your favorite activity.
1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"

There are no stupid questions... just stupid answers.

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?

The father replied, "I don't really know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "I don't really know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "I don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, if you don't ask questions, you never learn anything'."